Police Reports 10.27.14: Please keep track of your narcotics

Say no to drugs. But if you insist on using them, don’t be leaving your pills and paraphernalia and whatnot just laying around willy-nilly. Some kid might find it.

This is the odd theme of today’s police reports, and I guess you can’t really expect druggies to be mindful of such details. If you want them to dig a hole in your yard, though, that’s another story. Read more

Daily Lead 10.23.14: Oxford’s Uber problem

If you’re too drunk to drive or simply don’t have a vehicle and have to get to work or class in Oxford, then there’s a decent chance you’d use Uber. The city’s police department would rather you not do that, and in fact will begin arresting Uber drivers.

If you don’t know what Uber is, it’s sort of like a taxi service, but it’s not licensed as such, which violates a local ordinance, and naturally the taxi companies in Oxford are raising a stink about it. Uber drivers are people who own their own vehicle and contract with the company to give folks rides. And instead of hailing or calling for an Uber car, you just get online and request pick-up. Read more

Daily Lead 10.22.14: Signs

Mel Gibson sees the signs, and he says, "Hey, you can't put those there."

Mel Gibson sees the signs, and he says, “Hey, you can’t put those there.”

Hallowe’en approacheth, and there are signs everywhere. Political signs, to be specific. In Saltillo. Because there is a seven-person race for District I Justice Court judge. So while there are no aliens or ghouls sneaking around (far as I know), political signs are more scary to me anyway because they remind me that politicians exist, and I’d rather deal with monsters than charlatans.

Why? Because politicians are real, and if you don’t think a judge is technically a politician, then I’ve got some beachfront property on Mars I’d love to sell you. But back to the main point: People have been sticking these signs in the ground all over Saltillo and north Lee County, including places where it’s illegal to place such signs. But since when do laws apply to politicians and their oftentimes creepy supporters? Read more

Daily Lead 10.21.14: Golden shovels for everyone!

Thomas Wells | Buy at photos.djournal.com Gotta be plenty of these golden shovels floating around for everybody to get one.

Thomas Wells | Buy at photos.djournal.com
Gotta be plenty of these golden shovels floating around for everybody to get one.

Tupelo is getting a new police station, which will cost a lot of money, and so the City Council will address the financing tonight when it considers a $10 million bond issue. The city already has about $5 million set aside for the facility, which means half of the bond money could go to other projects.

I say we build more splash pads. We don’t have enough of those. Or more Elvis statues, because Tupelo will milk that cow long past its expiration date. Or buy all the city landscape workers golden shovels, because why should CEOs and politicians be the only ones who get to use those? Heck, I want a golden shovel, too.

I’m sure my suggestions will be taken into consideration at tonight’s meeting. Read more

Police Reports 10.20.14: Hold the mayo

It appears my humor is a bit too irreverent from some of the local Pharisees – witness some Facebook comments re: Friday’s police reports – and that’s too bad for them. If you’re one of these stiffs, I have a cure for your chronic soberness: Slam your funny bone into a brick wall 10 to 12 times. If that doesn’t do the trick, try removing the stick from

Censored

It’s cool, though. We don’t all find the same things funny, which explains the seemingly inexplicable fact that some folks don’t like Mitch Hedberg (RIP). We carry on today with more police reports, and if you don’t care for my commentary, feel free to skip those parts. Read more

Daily Lead 10.20.14: Setting goals, killing zombies

Rick Grimes has a goal: Kill all the walkers.

Rick Grimes has a goal: Kill all the walkers.

Everyone should have goals. Tupelo has goals. Lots of ‘em. Now the city’s leaders just have to figure out how to prioritize them, and the assignment is due Friday, so no putting it off until Thursday night.

Each goal comes with six questions that must be answered, although I have an idea for simplifying that: Just go with three questions, the three Rick Grimes asks every time he meets someone new. Read more

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